Personality Expansion

Tina and I find personality tests to be extremely helpful and clarifying. We love the Enneagram, Myers Briggs, Human Design and more. We have used these tests to better understand ourselves, each other and grow in our relationship. They have helped us tremendously in our work with coaching people and helping them on their growth journeys. Personality typing truly is a powerful tool and it can be a huge source of growth and development if used in a conscious way. 

Criticism of personality tests 

Personality typing can be polarizing. I have talked to a lot of people who aren’t a fan of these kinds of tests because they feel like there is an inherent limitation in them that comes from the way they box people into a certain category or type. Other people have raised the criticism that it actually solidifies people’s identity in a problematic way as it creates the illusion for people that they can never grow beyond certain traits and habits because “that's just the way they are.” I totally respect these criticisms and find a lot of validity in these points. Any finite system or model taken as an absolute truth becomes problematic and limiting, including personality tests. There is also so much complexity and variability across humans that trying to find a finite number of categories to place them in is going to be inherently limited and flawed. 

Limiting Beliefs 

The danger of personality tests comes when they become a way to justify limiting beliefs. 

I have heard, for example, that certain types will never be able to move beyond their inner critic because that's “just the way they are.” I don’t believe there are certain types of people who are forever prisoner to their inner critic and there is nothing they can do about it.

I believe that one of the fundamental lessons we are meant to learn in life is how to live free of the mind and critical self talk. Now of course, not everyone learns this lesson in their lifetime and moves beyond their inner critic but the invitation is open to all of us. The idea that you can never live a life free of your inner critic is a limiting belief. When a limiting belief is justified by personality typing then personality typing becomes an agent of limitation rather than expansion. 

Expansion

So how do we use personality typing for expansion? 

When personality typing is an agent for expansion it is helping us observe ourselves and move beyond limiting beliefs rather than solidifying them. This helps us understand ourselves on a much deeper level and transcend our perceived limitations which leads to more freedom, growth and expression. 

Here’s my experience with this to give an example:

I had a pretty profound epiphany when I learned that I was a 7 on the Enneagram. The description of type 7 puts words to habits, behaviors and things I felt internally that were extremely illuminating and helpful. One of the core traits of a type 7 is that we look to maximize pleasure and are always trying to avoid pain and discomfort at all costs. I definitely related to that. I could see when uncomfortable emotions would come up for me I instinctively looked to distract myself or repress them. I could see how in my relationships when difficult conversations came up I would feel like I wanted to crawl out of my skin and I looked for any way to get out of the situation. Type 7’s also look to reframe situations to avoid pain. Denial and reframing are the drugs of choice in order to avoid pain and uncomfortable feelings and 7’s are really good at them.  

This kind of behavior was obviously not conducive to a life of growth and authenticity. The Enneagram gave me the gift of being able to observe these tendencies and behaviors within myself by giving language to certain patterns that I identified internally. I then had a choice. I could use the Enneagram description of a 7 to continue these behaviors by believing “this is just the way I am and I can’t change it” or I could use my awareness of these tendencies within myself to move beyond them and make new choices in the moment. 

Through mindfulness I began to notice in real time these tendencies of escapism and reframing come up when I was faced with uncomfortable feelings. The awareness of my tendencies and instincts in the moment became my invitation to choose something different. When an uncomfortable emotion would come up, the invitation became to just sit with the emotion and invite it in. When an uncomfortable conversation would come up the invitation became to engage in the conversation even more. 

I realized that growth comes from going into the pain and discomfort of life. Being able to observe myself in the moment gave me the opportunity to make a new choice towards wholeness and depth.

Awareness of ourselves brings invitations to change.

Going beyond

The power of the personality test in this case was its ability to help me move beyond my personality tendencies rather than to solidify them. “I can’t deal with pain” could have been a limiting belief that got justified by learning I was a type 7 but instead I used it as a way to actually throw myself into the painful moments of life which is where I learned the wisdom, growth and transformation happens. 

When we use personality typing consciously we use it as a way to move beyond the behaviors that hold us back. We use them as a way to help our personality flourish more and become more vibrant. There are so many people who look for things to justify and support their limitations. This is a losing proposition that only keeps them more stuck in life. Every tool we use should be helping us move into more understanding, freedom and liberation. The invitation is there for us to take it, it's just a matter of whether or not we choose to. 

What personality limitations are you accepting that are ready to be transcended?

Contact us for integrative support with your Human Design, Enneagram, or any other personality typing.